The half-way mark!

It’s Friday tomorrow! But more importantly today is day 10 0f my 20 day starvation (ok, let me-live-through-the-gastric-sleeve-operation) diet. Thankfully this week has been nowhere near as bad as last week, although my endurance at work has been somewhat reduced – or perhaps I’m just using it as an excuse to be lazy, I’m not quite sure.

My diet for the first week was four Optifast meals plus two cups of non-starch vegetables a day (no potato, pumpkin or any of the fun ones). If you’re not familiar with Optifast, it is a meal replacement product that come in the form of shakes, bars, desserts and soups. They’re pretty horrible, but you get used to them (apart from the soups, which no-one likes). They pretend to have fun flavours like “chocolate” and “lemon crème dessert” to fool fat people, but the descriptions are a bit of a stretch.

The first week was really tough, all headaches and screaming hunger. I went cold turkey on caffeine, which probably didn’t help. Oddly, my main craving was pizza (not normally my first choice) and of course a cooked breakfast. Bacon. Bread. CARBS. I lost count of the number of times the yellow goodness of a perfect poached egg oozed through my mind.

Last weekend I hit the Optifast web forums, searching in desperation for the “Good news everyone! 1 Big Mac = 1 Optifast” kind of post. No such luck, but I did learn the mantra “if you’re going to cheat, cheat with meat”. So I did. Pushed the boat out with an exotic grilled chicken salad at The Coffee Club. I felt guilty as hell afterwards, but I don’t think I did any harm.

It’s amazing how creative you become when you have a very limited selection of foods to choose from. Originally I thought that I’d be satisfied with a handful of lettuce, but that lasted all of two days so it was time to crack open the spice rack and make soup. I made a surprisingly good curried carrot & leek to start with, so good that I had an extra serve – no harm in that, surely? When I asked my nutritionist if it was okay to have extra vegetables, she said it was fine, as long as it wasn’t carrots. Bugger. But she did tell me that I could swap one Optifast a day for a small piece of lean beef or chicken – why didn’t she tell me that to start with!

It’s nearly the weekend, and last weekend was really tough without work as a distraction – I’d never realised how much of my life revolved around eating, and then planning what the next meal was going to be. And I’ve already seen this week’s Doctor Who. Hmm.

The damn slo-mo KFC ad on the TV really isn’t helping right now. Oh well, only another 10 days to go…


About the author


Martin was born in England but now lives in Perth, Western Australia. He has a passion for breakfast, coffee, hot curries & fast food, and is a cat & Dalek person.

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